Whilst working with a very stressed client a powerful metaphor occured to me. The client loves motorsport ( important fact the value of which will become clear)
The client was anxious, having trouble sleeping and looping around in very negative thinking patterns about work. His level of self confidence was rock bottom. High levels of performance were being expected of him and he was working 15 hour days ( yes 15 hours) and taking work home at evenings and weekends. This enabled him just about to keep his head above water although he was exhausted, knew his performance was slipping and yet could see no way out.
He agreed with my analogy , on the hamster wheel and going too fast to think about ways to slow it down or get off!
Work life balance- NONE!
I coached him using various NLP tools and techniques to eneble him to regain a sense of control an dindeed to experience one such as he had never done before.
To begin with his own panicky internal dialogue was so loud most of what I said was lost.
So-- I talked about Formula 1, Grand Prix and his love of and passion for motorsport. He lit up as he talked about drivers, circuits and cars! All of which I happily admitted I knew very little about yet was pleased that his endorphin levels were increasing and his brain chemistry was changing before my very eyes!
We talked about the intricacy of these high performance cars and the sophisticated engineering, the care and attention and skill that is needed to build and importantly to maintain them.
Servicing is vital and attention paid to every nut bolt, tyre and panel. They are nurtured and serviced before a race and then during, pit stops are of paramount importance to make sure that the car is performing to it's highest level.
At this point I said, so, and back to you then!
He smiled as the light bulb went on!
Now we could move forward!
Have you had your pit stop today?
Enjoy your week
Bridget
Bridget Clapham
...keeping your SUCCESS in mind!
01869 277 348
Wednesday 21 July 2010
Friday 16 July 2010
Progress on Twitter
Well so here we are in July....I hope you are enjoying summer so far. Mind you it does seem to have rather disappeared. Gales and rain and cold. Hmmmm.... Maybe I hibernated and it is REALLY October?
I have been getting used to tweeting. You can find me @bridgetclapham and can follow by simply pressing the link at the side of this blog.
You will find that @bridgetclapham I tweet about success in general and tweets often have a leadership or personal theme
Or, if you are a student look up @examconfidence for tweets about study and exam success. Spread the word!
I am learning all the time and have fun "meeting people from all over the globe" in Twitter land!
There are lots of great quotes and thoughts to get you thinking.Mind you confining myself to 140 characters is tricky! Still working out how to use it properly, the abbreviations are never ending!!
Look me up and tweet!
Bridget :-)
I have been getting used to tweeting. You can find me @bridgetclapham and can follow by simply pressing the link at the side of this blog.
You will find that @bridgetclapham I tweet about success in general and tweets often have a leadership or personal theme
Or, if you are a student look up @examconfidence for tweets about study and exam success. Spread the word!
I am learning all the time and have fun "meeting people from all over the globe" in Twitter land!
There are lots of great quotes and thoughts to get you thinking.Mind you confining myself to 140 characters is tricky! Still working out how to use it properly, the abbreviations are never ending!!
Look me up and tweet!
Bridget :-)
Transition to secondary school-an adult perspective
First day at secondary school and parallels in adult life.
What would it be like?
This article was written five years ago when my daughter started at secondary school.
It received hundreds of views online and the feedback was that it helped many adults to support their 11year olds with greater understanding!
If teachers could read it, it may also affect their approach! I hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think!! I would appreciate your feedback
First day at secondary school.
I remember mine, most of it is a blur, fast and furious but my main memory is that I missed the bus home. I was in the bus layby, one minute surrounded by hundreds of children, most were bigger than me and all seemed to know exactly where to go and which of the many buses to stride and push towards.
The next minute, after a whirl of activity, I was alone—no buses and no other kids.
Just me!
No mobile phone and no idea what to do, just an overwhelming feeling of being very lost and vulnerable. I sat on the pavement and whilst thinking what to do next in my best Girl Guide "Be Prepared" way, a kindly teacher came and asked if I was alright—sort of rhetorical I suppose!!
The kindly teacher took me home in her car and handed me over to Mum who had hot tea and scones ready to eat whilst I told my adventures of the day!
(Very Enid Blyton perhaps but nevertheless true!)
When I wrote this it was my daughter's turn to start secondary school. Quite an adventure:
Think of it in adult terms, what would be a parallel situation for us now?
Imagine the following: ------
You have just left a small and friendly company where you have worked for the last 6-7 years. You knew everyone in your team and largely reported to just one manager at a time. (Rotating managers on a yearly basis)
You were one of the most senior and experienced people in the organisation.
Now…
You start at a new company/organisation with 150 other new starters on the same day (some orientation programme!)
You are put in a team with 29 other new starters (no established employees to show you the ropes!)
There is no appointed leader in the team of 30.
Everyone is uncertain about where to be for each of the 7 meetings during the day.
Each and every day you have scheduled meetings with 7 different managers, all of whom you have to report to, on the first day.
Some managers seem kind yet others are very unapproachable. Some talk kindly and others shout at you and your new colleagues.
You are scheduled to meet many more managers tomorrow.
Each manager has different expectations of you of which you are uncertain and has a separate project for you to work on.
Several projects are in subject areas that you are completely unfamiliar with.
You will be juggling around 11-13 different projects continually for the next 5 years with little choice about specialism.
Several managers give you work to do at home before the next meeting with the threat of repercussions if you don't deliver. (What happened to work life balance?).
You are told that several managers will expect a considerable amount of work to be carried out during each period of your annual leave.
Some of your colleagues seem great but some don't and you don't get to choose who to work with.
Each manager decides to group you with a different set of colleagues from the choice of 30.
You finish the day with very mixed feelings and are exhausted, get home and have to get your head around the 2-3 pieces of work that have been set by different managers all of which have to be completed that evening.
Wow!
Some of the companies and organisations we may have worked for as adults may fit this scenario (did you stay long?) but the last time this happened to many of us, we would have been, like my daughter, just 11 years old.
If you are the parent of an 11 year old who is starting secondary school this year, plan ways to support them and have some fun with him/her!!
He/she is or will be experiencing one of the biggest changes they will ever experience.
I wonder what we can learn from them?!
Bridget Clapham
BSc Hons Psychology. Dip Ed. RGN.
Master Practitioner and Licensed Trainer of Neuro Linguistic Programming.
Mum!
What would it be like?
This article was written five years ago when my daughter started at secondary school.
It received hundreds of views online and the feedback was that it helped many adults to support their 11year olds with greater understanding!
If teachers could read it, it may also affect their approach! I hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think!! I would appreciate your feedback
First day at secondary school.
I remember mine, most of it is a blur, fast and furious but my main memory is that I missed the bus home. I was in the bus layby, one minute surrounded by hundreds of children, most were bigger than me and all seemed to know exactly where to go and which of the many buses to stride and push towards.
The next minute, after a whirl of activity, I was alone—no buses and no other kids.
Just me!
No mobile phone and no idea what to do, just an overwhelming feeling of being very lost and vulnerable. I sat on the pavement and whilst thinking what to do next in my best Girl Guide "Be Prepared" way, a kindly teacher came and asked if I was alright—sort of rhetorical I suppose!!
The kindly teacher took me home in her car and handed me over to Mum who had hot tea and scones ready to eat whilst I told my adventures of the day!
(Very Enid Blyton perhaps but nevertheless true!)
When I wrote this it was my daughter's turn to start secondary school. Quite an adventure:
Think of it in adult terms, what would be a parallel situation for us now?
Imagine the following: ------
You have just left a small and friendly company where you have worked for the last 6-7 years. You knew everyone in your team and largely reported to just one manager at a time. (Rotating managers on a yearly basis)
You were one of the most senior and experienced people in the organisation.
Now…
You start at a new company/organisation with 150 other new starters on the same day (some orientation programme!)
You are put in a team with 29 other new starters (no established employees to show you the ropes!)
There is no appointed leader in the team of 30.
Everyone is uncertain about where to be for each of the 7 meetings during the day.
Each and every day you have scheduled meetings with 7 different managers, all of whom you have to report to, on the first day.
Some managers seem kind yet others are very unapproachable. Some talk kindly and others shout at you and your new colleagues.
You are scheduled to meet many more managers tomorrow.
Each manager has different expectations of you of which you are uncertain and has a separate project for you to work on.
Several projects are in subject areas that you are completely unfamiliar with.
You will be juggling around 11-13 different projects continually for the next 5 years with little choice about specialism.
Several managers give you work to do at home before the next meeting with the threat of repercussions if you don't deliver. (What happened to work life balance?).
You are told that several managers will expect a considerable amount of work to be carried out during each period of your annual leave.
Some of your colleagues seem great but some don't and you don't get to choose who to work with.
Each manager decides to group you with a different set of colleagues from the choice of 30.
You finish the day with very mixed feelings and are exhausted, get home and have to get your head around the 2-3 pieces of work that have been set by different managers all of which have to be completed that evening.
Wow!
Some of the companies and organisations we may have worked for as adults may fit this scenario (did you stay long?) but the last time this happened to many of us, we would have been, like my daughter, just 11 years old.
If you are the parent of an 11 year old who is starting secondary school this year, plan ways to support them and have some fun with him/her!!
He/she is or will be experiencing one of the biggest changes they will ever experience.
I wonder what we can learn from them?!
Bridget Clapham
BSc Hons Psychology. Dip Ed. RGN.
Master Practitioner and Licensed Trainer of Neuro Linguistic Programming.
Mum!
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