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I look forward to seeing you there!
Bridget
Bridget Clapham
...keeping your SUCCESS in mind!
01869 277 348
Thursday 10 February 2011
Maps of the world, some ideas and explanations
Maps of the world and perceptions of others and self!
I have summarised some of the main ideas about maps of the world and considered how they relate to the way that we live!
Each of us has and in fact operates from our own unique “map of the world”
This is formed from our:-
• values – the things that really matter to us in life
• beliefs
• attitudes
• past experiences
• current experience
• skills
• knowledge
• personality
• attributes
• qualities
• hopes and goals.
The map, however is not the territory (there is always more than just our map)
The great thing is that, every moment of every day, as we experience new situations and continue to learn, the map gets bigger! Whether we like it or not!
Filters
Whenever we experience anything, in order to make sense of all of the inputs, the brain performs 3 functions.
So,of all the inputs to our senses (too many for the brain to process), some are:-
Deleted
Distorted
Generalised
This helps our experience to make sense to us and to fit, to some degree with the map that we already have.
How we filter differently as unique human beings
We experience and filter our experiences through our own unique map.
This can be easily understood by comparing experiences e.g. of a holiday with another individual who has been to the same resort or a work colleague who has been in the same meeting with us for 2 hours.
Each will have filtered differently and will give different accounts!
Relating to others, socially and in a work context
When we get on well with people, relate well to them, feel comfortable with them, and like them it is because there is significant overlap between maps. We may share core values, beliefs and have had similar experiences. If we meet people where few of these are shared, it is less likely that we will get on as well! In every relationship we are effectively seeking out and adding to the overlap!
The maps of the people you like admire and easily relate to will to a great extent mirror your own.
Building rapport and engaging with people is important in order to build an understanding and appreciation of their maps.
Sometimes we can spend a great deal of time with someone at work or socially and yet be very out of touch with each others maps
NB. The skill of perceptual positioning is important here and is valuable to develop the ability to do this easily.
Communicating with someone else who has a different map!
Remember that they will be filtering differently to you! This is particularly relevant to communication!
What have you distorted, deleted and generalised?
What is the other person distorting, deleting and generalising?
This is another whole topic…and yet we can easily realise that it is a miracle perhaps that we ever communicate effectively!
It is crucial to refine skills purposefully as this reduces the huge potential for mis understanding and mis communication!
• Learning what is in our own maps and in those of others,
• Extending our own maps and
• Finding or creating overlap with others
…………is all useful in relating effectively and successfully to others.
Whether we are communicating in a work or more personal context, the potential for success is greatly increased when we pay attention to all of the above!
So, spend some time exploring your own map, what are the values that drive you and what richness is there? HOw is your own map expanding, celebrate what you are learning and how you are developing as the amazing "work in progress" that you are! Notice how big the overlap is with people you get on well with and ..... The next time you find it tricky to get on with someone, notice what is different in your maps and then look for the overlap. Start there and expand it, you'll get better results that way and have much more fun!!
Happy map reading
Bridget :-)
I have summarised some of the main ideas about maps of the world and considered how they relate to the way that we live!
Each of us has and in fact operates from our own unique “map of the world”
This is formed from our:-
• values – the things that really matter to us in life
• beliefs
• attitudes
• past experiences
• current experience
• skills
• knowledge
• personality
• attributes
• qualities
• hopes and goals.
The map, however is not the territory (there is always more than just our map)
The great thing is that, every moment of every day, as we experience new situations and continue to learn, the map gets bigger! Whether we like it or not!
Filters
Whenever we experience anything, in order to make sense of all of the inputs, the brain performs 3 functions.
So,of all the inputs to our senses (too many for the brain to process), some are:-
Deleted
Distorted
Generalised
This helps our experience to make sense to us and to fit, to some degree with the map that we already have.
How we filter differently as unique human beings
We experience and filter our experiences through our own unique map.
This can be easily understood by comparing experiences e.g. of a holiday with another individual who has been to the same resort or a work colleague who has been in the same meeting with us for 2 hours.
Each will have filtered differently and will give different accounts!
Relating to others, socially and in a work context
When we get on well with people, relate well to them, feel comfortable with them, and like them it is because there is significant overlap between maps. We may share core values, beliefs and have had similar experiences. If we meet people where few of these are shared, it is less likely that we will get on as well! In every relationship we are effectively seeking out and adding to the overlap!
The maps of the people you like admire and easily relate to will to a great extent mirror your own.
Building rapport and engaging with people is important in order to build an understanding and appreciation of their maps.
Sometimes we can spend a great deal of time with someone at work or socially and yet be very out of touch with each others maps
NB. The skill of perceptual positioning is important here and is valuable to develop the ability to do this easily.
Communicating with someone else who has a different map!
Remember that they will be filtering differently to you! This is particularly relevant to communication!
What have you distorted, deleted and generalised?
What is the other person distorting, deleting and generalising?
This is another whole topic…and yet we can easily realise that it is a miracle perhaps that we ever communicate effectively!
It is crucial to refine skills purposefully as this reduces the huge potential for mis understanding and mis communication!
• Learning what is in our own maps and in those of others,
• Extending our own maps and
• Finding or creating overlap with others
…………is all useful in relating effectively and successfully to others.
Whether we are communicating in a work or more personal context, the potential for success is greatly increased when we pay attention to all of the above!
So, spend some time exploring your own map, what are the values that drive you and what richness is there? HOw is your own map expanding, celebrate what you are learning and how you are developing as the amazing "work in progress" that you are! Notice how big the overlap is with people you get on well with and ..... The next time you find it tricky to get on with someone, notice what is different in your maps and then look for the overlap. Start there and expand it, you'll get better results that way and have much more fun!!
Happy map reading
Bridget :-)
Wednesday 5 January 2011
The power of words – Motivated to do things in 2011…or not?!
So, here we are in 2011. Wow, it seems as though it was yesterday that I wrote a blog article and it was October. I must resolve to post more often in 2011.
I wonder if I will?
The “must” word is, for me, an indicator that, in fact, I will still post infrequently.
The words we use are powerful and influence our conscious and unconscious minds far more than we think. In NLP we call the group of words below Modal Operators. For our purposes, we can think of them as fascinating influences on feelings and ultimately on behaviour!
Experiment.
Think of something that you have decided to do…at some point. It can be something very grown up and important such as create a new strategy for marketing or something simple such as putting up a shelf or doing the ironing. The task in itself is secondary.
Now pay attention to the words you use when you think about this task.
You may say to yourself :-
• I must do…
• I should do…
• I ought to do…
• I may do…
• I might do…
• I could do…
• I’ll try to do
• I Will do…
• I can do…
• I’m going to do…
Notice how each of those statements has a different impact on how you feel and indeed on your motivation level to get the job done.
Which is the least motivating?
Many people find that should and ought are low in motivation and even trigger polarity feelings of resistance and negativity toward the task.
A recent client observed that when he used these words about finishing an important work document “It’s sort of like someone else, like an old teacher is telling me what I SHOULD do and I think B****KS Why should I ?!!!!”
“I’ll try” is an almost certain signpost to inaction and, for me personally, in the case of the ironing a certainty that clothes will remain crumpled.
When clients tell me they will try to use the tools that they have learned, we extend the session to explore why the word has been used and get to a point where a different one springs to mind!!
Think about it. If you ask a teenager to tidy their room and they tell you that they will try to do it before the end of the month, you sort of know it won’t happen!
The brain responds differently to different words and try seems to be a small, innocent 3 letter word that gets the internal gremlins responding with “ Yeah, right, so THAT’S really going to happen then… NOT !”
How about you? Notice a similar effect?
Increased motivation?
Words such as could and might, for many people, increase the possibility of the job being done. Clients comment that they feel more in control and confident when they use these words.
The words that work best for me…. And it IS personal are “Will , can and top of my list…I’m going to!”
When I say to myself “I’m going to do the ironing….” its a done deal and I’m on my way, it is certain, already in motion somehow and feels strong and definite! Ironing, here I come.
Be mindful of the words you use on the inside, in your own thoughts, and on the outside when communicating with others. If part of your role is to motivate others, notice the impact of different words on first of all your, and then their state and on their behaviours.
Above all have fun with the power of words in 2011 !
So, where was I, ah yes, blogging in 2011, I’m going to post more often.
Now watch this space!
I wonder if I will?
The “must” word is, for me, an indicator that, in fact, I will still post infrequently.
The words we use are powerful and influence our conscious and unconscious minds far more than we think. In NLP we call the group of words below Modal Operators. For our purposes, we can think of them as fascinating influences on feelings and ultimately on behaviour!
Experiment.
Think of something that you have decided to do…at some point. It can be something very grown up and important such as create a new strategy for marketing or something simple such as putting up a shelf or doing the ironing. The task in itself is secondary.
Now pay attention to the words you use when you think about this task.
You may say to yourself :-
• I must do…
• I should do…
• I ought to do…
• I may do…
• I might do…
• I could do…
• I’ll try to do
• I Will do…
• I can do…
• I’m going to do…
Notice how each of those statements has a different impact on how you feel and indeed on your motivation level to get the job done.
Which is the least motivating?
Many people find that should and ought are low in motivation and even trigger polarity feelings of resistance and negativity toward the task.
A recent client observed that when he used these words about finishing an important work document “It’s sort of like someone else, like an old teacher is telling me what I SHOULD do and I think B****KS Why should I ?!!!!”
“I’ll try” is an almost certain signpost to inaction and, for me personally, in the case of the ironing a certainty that clothes will remain crumpled.
When clients tell me they will try to use the tools that they have learned, we extend the session to explore why the word has been used and get to a point where a different one springs to mind!!
Think about it. If you ask a teenager to tidy their room and they tell you that they will try to do it before the end of the month, you sort of know it won’t happen!
The brain responds differently to different words and try seems to be a small, innocent 3 letter word that gets the internal gremlins responding with “ Yeah, right, so THAT’S really going to happen then… NOT !”
How about you? Notice a similar effect?
Increased motivation?
Words such as could and might, for many people, increase the possibility of the job being done. Clients comment that they feel more in control and confident when they use these words.
The words that work best for me…. And it IS personal are “Will , can and top of my list…I’m going to!”
When I say to myself “I’m going to do the ironing….” its a done deal and I’m on my way, it is certain, already in motion somehow and feels strong and definite! Ironing, here I come.
Be mindful of the words you use on the inside, in your own thoughts, and on the outside when communicating with others. If part of your role is to motivate others, notice the impact of different words on first of all your, and then their state and on their behaviours.
Above all have fun with the power of words in 2011 !
So, where was I, ah yes, blogging in 2011, I’m going to post more often.
Now watch this space!
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