Hi all. I am pleased to announce that I have taken another firm step into the 21st century and am now on Twitter.
Look for bridgetclapham ( sort of makes sense really!!)
I am getting used to confining myself to 140 characters-- very tricky for someone who likes to say a lot!!
Feel free to follow and tweet me!
Bridget
Keeping your success in mind!
Bridget Clapham
...keeping your SUCCESS in mind!
01869 277 348
Wednesday, 21 April 2010
Back on the blog
Dear All,
Apologies for the temporary silence. Variety of reasons including PC probs! Can email and Twitter on my phone and will have to learn how to blog from it which I guess must be possible!
I am back!
Lots to blog about so watch this space!
Best wishes to all
Bridget
Apologies for the temporary silence. Variety of reasons including PC probs! Can email and Twitter on my phone and will have to learn how to blog from it which I guess must be possible!
I am back!
Lots to blog about so watch this space!
Best wishes to all
Bridget
Thursday, 1 April 2010
Exam Success- and chocolate!
As the Easter holidays approach there are thoughts of taking a break, chocolate, eggs, chocolate, time with family, chocolate, time with friends, oh and did I mention chocolate!?
There is also, for many thousands of students at school and at University, and also for their parents, an increasing awareness that coursework deadlines and exams are approaching!!!
I am getting emails from students and from parents via my website asking for tips and hints on how to get motivated to study, how to deal with exam anxiety and how to work in a way that will get the best grades possible.
As you may or may not know, this is an area of long standing interest and passion for me. The potential for each of us when we are a student to exceed expectations is phenomenal and yet often goes unrecognised, unawakened and unrealised.
Over the next weeks I shall post some great hints and tips for success in and amongst other posts. I do aim to answer all emails personally. If there are a lot on one subject a blog may be the best way to respond.
If there are any areas that particularly concern you as a student or parent,or requests for blog subjects around overcoming exam stress to achieve exam success, do email me on bridget@bridgetclapham.co.uk and I will get back to you.
For now check out my website page on exam success. Just click at the top of the blog page and the link will take you straight there. You can also email me via the link on the page.
Enjoy the chocolate and start planning for the exam success!!!
Bridget
Keeping your success in mind
There is also, for many thousands of students at school and at University, and also for their parents, an increasing awareness that coursework deadlines and exams are approaching!!!
I am getting emails from students and from parents via my website asking for tips and hints on how to get motivated to study, how to deal with exam anxiety and how to work in a way that will get the best grades possible.
As you may or may not know, this is an area of long standing interest and passion for me. The potential for each of us when we are a student to exceed expectations is phenomenal and yet often goes unrecognised, unawakened and unrealised.
Over the next weeks I shall post some great hints and tips for success in and amongst other posts. I do aim to answer all emails personally. If there are a lot on one subject a blog may be the best way to respond.
If there are any areas that particularly concern you as a student or parent,or requests for blog subjects around overcoming exam stress to achieve exam success, do email me on bridget@bridgetclapham.co.uk and I will get back to you.
For now check out my website page on exam success. Just click at the top of the blog page and the link will take you straight there. You can also email me via the link on the page.
Enjoy the chocolate and start planning for the exam success!!!
Bridget
Keeping your success in mind
Wednesday, 31 March 2010
Quote of the day
Whilst I enjoy writing for my blog, I have decided to also use my blog to share some quotes from some of the good and great. I will choose ones which I personally find inspirational, funny, motivational or, for what ever reason, excellent! Feel free to point us all in the direction of your own favourites as well.
Here's one from Dale Carnegie to start with.
“It isn't what you have,
or who you are,
or where you are,
or what you are doing
that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.”
Dale Carnegie
How true!!!
Here's one from Dale Carnegie to start with.
“It isn't what you have,
or who you are,
or where you are,
or what you are doing
that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.”
Dale Carnegie
How true!!!
Monday, 29 March 2010
Time warp
Having just posted a blog I am amazed at the amount of time that has passed since the last one! Talk about time distortion, it only seemed a week or so since I was last posting.
I totally admire those who post daily! For me a monthly post with the occasional "Thought or quote for the Day" is much more realistic and suits my life and workstyle.
I am working on a couple of great projects in addition to seeing my corporate and private clients. This limits my time for writing so apologies to those of you you have emailed me to ask if I had stopped blogging!
Perish the thought!! You did prompt me to action though!! The previous blog about the inner voice was an article I wrote for the purenlp journal and was published in February so it makes sense to also publish in my own blog!
Thank you all for your interest.
You can comment on the blogs or email me via the website links at the top of the blogpage. Keeps me on my toes!
Have a great week everyone :-)
Bridget
I totally admire those who post daily! For me a monthly post with the occasional "Thought or quote for the Day" is much more realistic and suits my life and workstyle.
I am working on a couple of great projects in addition to seeing my corporate and private clients. This limits my time for writing so apologies to those of you you have emailed me to ask if I had stopped blogging!
Perish the thought!! You did prompt me to action though!! The previous blog about the inner voice was an article I wrote for the purenlp journal and was published in February so it makes sense to also publish in my own blog!
Thank you all for your interest.
You can comment on the blogs or email me via the website links at the top of the blogpage. Keeps me on my toes!
Have a great week everyone :-)
Bridget
The Still Small Voice Within
The still or not so still, small or not so small voice within!!
Tyrant or friend
"The only tyrant I accept in the world
is the still small voice within me"---
Mahatma Gandhi.
Maybe he accepted it because Ghandi realised that he had the power to change it!! Or perhaps he knew that he had the choice of how much attention he paid to it? So, what do we do with the still small voice within?
Our inner dialogue or self talk is hugely powerful and influences us in a powerful way, moment to moment. Our state in any moment is influenced hugely by what we are listening to and not just the words. The WAY we are talking to ourselves has more impact than the words we are listening to.
Years ago, when I was teaching communication skills to Doctors and Nurses I always emphasised the importance of tonality pace etc as being crucial to the meaning of the message when communicating to another individual. When I ran programmes about Stress management and Resilience I did teach about self talk and still I admit focussed mainly on the what of what we are saying to ourselves!! A little on the how yet way too little!!!
It was, however, only when I sat in a room with 750 others as an NLP Practitioner delegate and learned from Richard Bandler about the power of submodalities that the learning really took off for me!!
Those skill drills eliciting submodalities were so important and exercises in changing them were truly lessons in driving the bus as Richard would say!!
I am guessing that, at times, we can all identify with the Tyrant concept that Ghandi referred to.
Sometimes that inner voice is anything BUT still and small it can be downright loud, destructive, tyrannical even and certainly can lead us to feelings of depression, guilt, anger, frustration, panic fear ,anxiety and other states far removed from and overwhelmingly different from the happiness and freedom available within.
When we talk to ourselves in positive words matched with a positive tonality and get the pitch, volume and inner smile in the voice, boy does it feel different!
Much of my work with clients in and outside corporate land is around giving people tools with which to achieve more joy… one of those sets of tools is about managing their voice within!
Below is a summary of what they and I learn and practice!
Firstly to pay attention to and to notice how you are feeling and tune in to your inner voice as if tuning into a radio!!!
1. Notice the inner dialogue
2. Pay attention to what it is saying
3. Notice HOW you are hearing the voice, is it gentle soothing, encouraging, supportive or sarcastic, belittling, frightened or sad?
4. Consider what that voice may be getting you to pay attention to and act upon? (Remember there will be a positive intention tricky tho it may be to discern!!) .
5. If the voice is useful and you are feeling great, keep going and do more of it!! Ramp it up!!!
6. If it isn’t getting you to feel the way you need to in the situation take action.
After all, there isn’t really anyone there (truly!!) just a set of neural pathways firing off ---electrical activity represented as a voice.
For many clients, corporate and private, this in itself is enough to get them to take control! They can picture a set off pathways and the electrical activity and imagine putting a block in so that the pathway can’t fire off in the same way any more.
Cool!!
If the voice persists there are several techniques which, if you are a practitioner of NLP you will be aware of.
I often tell the story of a client Ryan who learned how to have better conversations in his head with fabulous results for his happiness and achievement.
Ryan was 10 years old when I worked with him.
His father called me and told me that Ryan had a promising tennis career and yet had “lost all of his confidence” He had become anxious increasingly worried and had become fearful about playing matches. Whilst he was fine in training he had lost every match in recent weeks. Could I help?
I wanted first to elicit whether I was talking to a father who had sights set on a Grand Slam Title and whether Ryan was a reluctant to climb up the tennis ladder. A quick chat to Ryan convinced me. The young man LOVED his tennis and wanted to enjoy his matches and to win again.
Ryan and I worked together once and kept in touch by phone.
This young man had developed a very critical, frustrated, irritated, superior and aggressive inner voice.
“ You are useless at Tennis, the other boy will be better than you, you will miss all your shots, you may as well give up, you’re a useless failure” Those were just a few of the hypnotic suggestions he was bathing in on a daily basis!
He wanted to enjoy his tennis, feel happy confident and motivated to win with a lovely mix of excitement and anticipation before and during his matches. He wanted the feeling of winning, success and celebration back!!
Mastering his inner voice was the key to him achieving his desired change. We did other things too yet the major shift came when he changed his inner dialogue!
I gave him several tools with which to do this. The one he like best and used the most was imagining he was listening to a track on his Ipod and simply changing tracks!! After all, why would he listen to something that was making him feel bad!?
I then asked him to imagine tuning to a different track, an audio book yet that didn’t seem to help.
We had been talking about favourite Tennis players, TV shows movies etc so I seized an idea (the client will always provide the answer!!)
I asked him to create his own inner confidence coach and to imagine what that person would say to him about his tennis... I suggested his favourite player and many times Grand Slam Champion (mistake Bridget, too directive, remember the rules!) and he said, very cutely
“Do I have to have a tennis player?”
No” I said, it’s your brain, you can have whoever you like!!”
“I know who I will have” he said suddenly and, as he did so his whole physiology changed. He sat up tall, smiled and I knew the change we were waiting for had happened!!!
“Who will you have then?” I asked.
“Mr T” he said!!! (What a fabulous coach strong, solid, confident and BIG!!!)
“Fantastic” says Bridget—“fabulous coach after all he only deals with the A team”.
Ryan who was on a roll then said “Is it OK if I have two?”
“Who else have you got on your team now then”I asked “Rocky“ grinned Ryan!!! And got even taller if that was possible!
I got him to close his eyes and imagine walking in court Mr T on one side Rocky on the other with Eye of the Tiger blaring through the speakers and ----job done!
We did some great visualisations, more work on building great states and then,….off he went head held high and brimming with confidence and a great big smile.
He started to win his matches again and, whilst he may or may not become a Grand Slam Champion, he now has an idea and a sense of what it could feel like!!
Inner tyrant to Inspirational inner coach in a short session!
Ryan’s story has inspired many of my adult clients both private and at CEO and Director level in corporate land. Whilst the tyrant may well pop up from time to time, it’s good to remember who is in charge!
Tyrant or friend
"The only tyrant I accept in the world
is the still small voice within me"---
Mahatma Gandhi.
Maybe he accepted it because Ghandi realised that he had the power to change it!! Or perhaps he knew that he had the choice of how much attention he paid to it? So, what do we do with the still small voice within?
Our inner dialogue or self talk is hugely powerful and influences us in a powerful way, moment to moment. Our state in any moment is influenced hugely by what we are listening to and not just the words. The WAY we are talking to ourselves has more impact than the words we are listening to.
Years ago, when I was teaching communication skills to Doctors and Nurses I always emphasised the importance of tonality pace etc as being crucial to the meaning of the message when communicating to another individual. When I ran programmes about Stress management and Resilience I did teach about self talk and still I admit focussed mainly on the what of what we are saying to ourselves!! A little on the how yet way too little!!!
It was, however, only when I sat in a room with 750 others as an NLP Practitioner delegate and learned from Richard Bandler about the power of submodalities that the learning really took off for me!!
Those skill drills eliciting submodalities were so important and exercises in changing them were truly lessons in driving the bus as Richard would say!!
I am guessing that, at times, we can all identify with the Tyrant concept that Ghandi referred to.
Sometimes that inner voice is anything BUT still and small it can be downright loud, destructive, tyrannical even and certainly can lead us to feelings of depression, guilt, anger, frustration, panic fear ,anxiety and other states far removed from and overwhelmingly different from the happiness and freedom available within.
When we talk to ourselves in positive words matched with a positive tonality and get the pitch, volume and inner smile in the voice, boy does it feel different!
Much of my work with clients in and outside corporate land is around giving people tools with which to achieve more joy… one of those sets of tools is about managing their voice within!
Below is a summary of what they and I learn and practice!
Firstly to pay attention to and to notice how you are feeling and tune in to your inner voice as if tuning into a radio!!!
1. Notice the inner dialogue
2. Pay attention to what it is saying
3. Notice HOW you are hearing the voice, is it gentle soothing, encouraging, supportive or sarcastic, belittling, frightened or sad?
4. Consider what that voice may be getting you to pay attention to and act upon? (Remember there will be a positive intention tricky tho it may be to discern!!) .
5. If the voice is useful and you are feeling great, keep going and do more of it!! Ramp it up!!!
6. If it isn’t getting you to feel the way you need to in the situation take action.
After all, there isn’t really anyone there (truly!!) just a set of neural pathways firing off ---electrical activity represented as a voice.
For many clients, corporate and private, this in itself is enough to get them to take control! They can picture a set off pathways and the electrical activity and imagine putting a block in so that the pathway can’t fire off in the same way any more.
Cool!!
If the voice persists there are several techniques which, if you are a practitioner of NLP you will be aware of.
I often tell the story of a client Ryan who learned how to have better conversations in his head with fabulous results for his happiness and achievement.
Ryan was 10 years old when I worked with him.
His father called me and told me that Ryan had a promising tennis career and yet had “lost all of his confidence” He had become anxious increasingly worried and had become fearful about playing matches. Whilst he was fine in training he had lost every match in recent weeks. Could I help?
I wanted first to elicit whether I was talking to a father who had sights set on a Grand Slam Title and whether Ryan was a reluctant to climb up the tennis ladder. A quick chat to Ryan convinced me. The young man LOVED his tennis and wanted to enjoy his matches and to win again.
Ryan and I worked together once and kept in touch by phone.
This young man had developed a very critical, frustrated, irritated, superior and aggressive inner voice.
“ You are useless at Tennis, the other boy will be better than you, you will miss all your shots, you may as well give up, you’re a useless failure” Those were just a few of the hypnotic suggestions he was bathing in on a daily basis!
He wanted to enjoy his tennis, feel happy confident and motivated to win with a lovely mix of excitement and anticipation before and during his matches. He wanted the feeling of winning, success and celebration back!!
Mastering his inner voice was the key to him achieving his desired change. We did other things too yet the major shift came when he changed his inner dialogue!
I gave him several tools with which to do this. The one he like best and used the most was imagining he was listening to a track on his Ipod and simply changing tracks!! After all, why would he listen to something that was making him feel bad!?
I then asked him to imagine tuning to a different track, an audio book yet that didn’t seem to help.
We had been talking about favourite Tennis players, TV shows movies etc so I seized an idea (the client will always provide the answer!!)
I asked him to create his own inner confidence coach and to imagine what that person would say to him about his tennis... I suggested his favourite player and many times Grand Slam Champion (mistake Bridget, too directive, remember the rules!) and he said, very cutely
“Do I have to have a tennis player?”
No” I said, it’s your brain, you can have whoever you like!!”
“I know who I will have” he said suddenly and, as he did so his whole physiology changed. He sat up tall, smiled and I knew the change we were waiting for had happened!!!
“Who will you have then?” I asked.
“Mr T” he said!!! (What a fabulous coach strong, solid, confident and BIG!!!)
“Fantastic” says Bridget—“fabulous coach after all he only deals with the A team”.
Ryan who was on a roll then said “Is it OK if I have two?”
“Who else have you got on your team now then”I asked “Rocky“ grinned Ryan!!! And got even taller if that was possible!
I got him to close his eyes and imagine walking in court Mr T on one side Rocky on the other with Eye of the Tiger blaring through the speakers and ----job done!
We did some great visualisations, more work on building great states and then,….off he went head held high and brimming with confidence and a great big smile.
He started to win his matches again and, whilst he may or may not become a Grand Slam Champion, he now has an idea and a sense of what it could feel like!!
Inner tyrant to Inspirational inner coach in a short session!
Ryan’s story has inspired many of my adult clients both private and at CEO and Director level in corporate land. Whilst the tyrant may well pop up from time to time, it’s good to remember who is in charge!
Monday, 11 January 2010
Happy New Year. Resolution time, the recipe for successful change!
Happy 2010 to you all!
So, it’s that time of year again. A new year, in fact decade stretches before us and traditionally we take time to reflect on the positive changes that we would like to make to life and lifestyle. Resolutions, goals, aims, outcomes, new beginnings!
Have you made any, keeping to them, anticipating success? I thought that at the start of the New Year it would be good to review some ingredients which, if in the recipe for change, will heighten success rates! Sort of like the final result looking something like the picture in the recipe book as opposed to something from another planet!
Most people when cooking actually like to have a picture to know what they are aiming at, some messages there about the importance of visualisation I think!
Those of you reading who have some knowledge of NLP may be familiar with the concept of the Well formed outcome. If so here is a review. If you are new to NLP, I hope that this will be a useful list of ingredients!
• The outcome - or goal, should be stated in the positive.
•
• Check that the achievement of the outcome is actually within your control?
•
• Check that you have the resources to achieve what you are wanting or that you can access them.
•
• Be clear about what the achievement of this outcome will do for you? What will be better and how?
•
• Think about what might stop you achieving this outcome? What, if anything has stopped you before? Are there any benefits to not achieving this? How do they compare to the benefits of achieving?!!!
•
• How will you know when you have achieved this outcome? What will you see, hear, and feel ….What evidence will you use to let you know that you are achieving this outcome?
•
• How will achieving this affect other areas of your life? This is known as the ecology check in NLP.
•
• What is the first step you will take towards achieving the outcome or goal?
It is important to work through this list as many times as necessary in order to refine the goal, resolution or outcome until you can be confident that you have the right ingredients for change. The ingredients create the recipe for change, so be sure about what you are creating!!!!
I worked with a client last year who wanted to write a book. He worked through the questions positively and well until getting stuck at the ecology check.
Taking time out to write and renting a cottage by the sea to do this was a perfect plan until he really considered the impact on his young family. Although his wife was, in theory supportive, when he stopped to think of the real implications and extra pressure on her of being the sole bread winner and managing a young family for long periods alone, he reshaped the goal.
What had seemed, originally, an ideal plan was reshaped into something more workable that, I am pleased to say is working well with relationships all intact!!!
So, use the check list and let me know how you get on with shaping your resolutions. It really is worth taking the time to ensure the ingredients are right before starting to create a growing selection of dishes for 2010.
Have fun and enjoy creating your recipes for success!
Bridget January 2010
So, it’s that time of year again. A new year, in fact decade stretches before us and traditionally we take time to reflect on the positive changes that we would like to make to life and lifestyle. Resolutions, goals, aims, outcomes, new beginnings!
Have you made any, keeping to them, anticipating success? I thought that at the start of the New Year it would be good to review some ingredients which, if in the recipe for change, will heighten success rates! Sort of like the final result looking something like the picture in the recipe book as opposed to something from another planet!
Most people when cooking actually like to have a picture to know what they are aiming at, some messages there about the importance of visualisation I think!
Those of you reading who have some knowledge of NLP may be familiar with the concept of the Well formed outcome. If so here is a review. If you are new to NLP, I hope that this will be a useful list of ingredients!
• The outcome - or goal, should be stated in the positive.
•
• Check that the achievement of the outcome is actually within your control?
•
• Check that you have the resources to achieve what you are wanting or that you can access them.
•
• Be clear about what the achievement of this outcome will do for you? What will be better and how?
•
• Think about what might stop you achieving this outcome? What, if anything has stopped you before? Are there any benefits to not achieving this? How do they compare to the benefits of achieving?!!!
•
• How will you know when you have achieved this outcome? What will you see, hear, and feel ….What evidence will you use to let you know that you are achieving this outcome?
•
• How will achieving this affect other areas of your life? This is known as the ecology check in NLP.
•
• What is the first step you will take towards achieving the outcome or goal?
It is important to work through this list as many times as necessary in order to refine the goal, resolution or outcome until you can be confident that you have the right ingredients for change. The ingredients create the recipe for change, so be sure about what you are creating!!!!
I worked with a client last year who wanted to write a book. He worked through the questions positively and well until getting stuck at the ecology check.
Taking time out to write and renting a cottage by the sea to do this was a perfect plan until he really considered the impact on his young family. Although his wife was, in theory supportive, when he stopped to think of the real implications and extra pressure on her of being the sole bread winner and managing a young family for long periods alone, he reshaped the goal.
What had seemed, originally, an ideal plan was reshaped into something more workable that, I am pleased to say is working well with relationships all intact!!!
So, use the check list and let me know how you get on with shaping your resolutions. It really is worth taking the time to ensure the ingredients are right before starting to create a growing selection of dishes for 2010.
Have fun and enjoy creating your recipes for success!
Bridget January 2010
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